Did it move? Did it fuck!! It was still under my car eating pasty!!! So i had to reverse and move around it!

I went to work this morning, people started stressing at me (hadnt even put my handbag down), and i thought fuck this shit, i cant cope with these cocks and my boob pain!   So im now set for the day...

painkillers = check
PJ's =         check
laptop =       check
supply of bad films = check

I like living life on the edge

This is my own shameless advertising, but im sure you'll forgive me

Go take a peeky...

Last few days ive come aross posts that are advertising shite. Whats up with that?

Maybe im having an air head moment, but wheres the place that lists my friends posts? Huh?

Then im off for 6 weeks *double hoorah*

I worked until 6.45 last night, worked through my lunch yesterday, worked through my lunch today, in work at 8, and its all got too much for me today.  Fucking buzzer ringing every 2 minutes, phone ringing, children needing mediation, kids needing plasters, me ringing parents, organising the leaving do, the leaving present, the collection envelope, me chasing staff for fucking tea money... ive only got one pair of FUCKING hands

I left a note on the staff board 3 weeks ago asking for tea and coffee money and not one of those fuckers has given me any...so today i walked into the staff room and asked for tea money individually and got over £45.  Why the fuck cant these lazy cunts, who walk past my desk everyday, just hand it to me?  Why the flying fuck do i have make like a debt fucking collector and ask them?  If they had it all along why the fuck not give it to me?  Want me to fucking wipe your arse too?!

I complied class lists for next year, handed it to my boss, who tells me the Deputy has got it completely wrong and that i need to re-arrange most of the classes....i re-did the list

*points up*  that is the point at which i lost it

I threw the reports across the floor, kicked my chair, swiped my desk in a totally over dramtic way sending papers flying all over.  My boss spoke to me in a very very calm manner and suggested i should head to hot caretakers house for a smoke or 5, while she checked over the classes with another colleague.

I cried my way to his house, smoked 2 fags, sniffed alot and probably made a few snot bubbles...

We trotted off to breakfast. The night porter who had stood with us at 3.30 in the morning while smoked our last fag of the night, prepared us a lovely breakkie. I had bacon, sausage, egg, toast and potato cakes mmmmmmmmm.

We decided to do a spot of shopping and headed into the local shopping centre. Clydebank apparently has a reputation for the residents being the equivalent to hillbillys

I have to say the people around us, including hotel staff were really nice.

The shopping centre was pretty dead considering it was a Saturday. L ended up buying 4 pairs of shoes and lots of clothes. I bought a handbag and a few tops and a suitcase (when coming to Glasgow i was sure i had a small trolly dolly at home which i couldnt find anywhere so my brother had leant me his gym bag which was tiny). The suitcase was lovely! It's purple with little flowers and well it'll be easy for me to spot at the airport. M picked us up and we went back to her house. Her kids had grown up soooo much, think id last seen them about 8 years ago!

M's husband was having a 40th birthday party on Saturday, the reason we'd gone over. I fake tanned M's daughters legs and did the whole nail varnish thing too. Just had a girlie few hours! M's has the cutest dog too...always walking around with stuff in his mouth. Being a doggie lover (not dogging) and i couldnt resit fussing over him

We headed over to the venue to decorate it and stuff. After decorating it we were sat just chatting when i got a text from my friend back home

'A car on fire has just driven throught the departure lounge at Glasgow airport'

Now hes a wind up merchant so i thought he was joking. I text him back telling him he was basically a prat...he text back with a pic of Sky News....ah so it was true. Now we didnt think it was a terrorist attack. At the time we thought it must have been some weird accident. If i were a terrorist, id think of something better to do than drive a car through the lounge......

We drove abck to M's house and stuck on Sky news. M's husband is CID in Glasgow. He had invited alot of his work friends to his party. Soon he found out that it definately was a terror attack and all his friends (half the Glasgow police force) had been called back into work. He was not a happy bunny. I think in the end about 4 of his mates turned up because they had been drinking and were not able to be called back into work.

The party wasnt empty, he seems to have a large family so it wasnt too bad. He had however given the DJ a playlist which she had to adhere too. It sounded like a radio station rather than music to get you grooving. At this point after yet more tequillas and vodka, i was rather shit faced. I felt tired and couldnt motivate myself to dance to the shit that was being played. Little old L however was up there shaking her thang, i just drank more and nibbled pakoras

At about 1, the party was over. I was truely fucked, and L was in the mood to keep going, i could tell! M's eldest son asked us to go clubbing with him and his cousin. Yea why not i thought, may aswell have a groove to half decent music.

Ill add at this point i was slightly traumatised by the fact my mates son was taking me clubbing. The last time i saw him he was about 12

Off we headed to The Boulevard. Not the best place in the world. Full of chavs and chavettes, but its open til 3 in the morning and serves alcohol. Had a good time there, tried my first Magners cider (tastes like shit by the way), danced my little heart out and checked out the eye candy (of which there was plenty). At 2.30 we left to get a cab before the stampede of chavlettes (aka 'neds' in Glasgow) got outside.

Got back to the hotel, had a smoke. Met the new night porter who frankly was a little scary, put in out orders for breakky and then went to bed.

We hit alot of turbulance on the way to Glasgow, but generally flight was fine.

Four of us used to work for Thames Water many moons ago, on the current Terminal 5 site. When we worked there, it was an actual sewage site. Our office stretched across a total of about 3 portacabins! All windows and doors had to be kept shut otherwise it stunk of shit. Lovely no? The aim was to clear the site for terminal 5 (even though at that stage it hadnt been authorised) and we recycled human waste into compost...anyway, this is how the four of us met. Myself L and M always got on well and the fourth, J, well i wasnt as close with her she just came along as part of the package

                       
We then went off to a club called Oran Mor.  Its this gorgeous church that has been converted into a bar, restaurant, and nightclub.  Ive got to say it was bloody stunning.  After our meal, the alcohol just wasnt hitting the spot so a round of Tequillas and large vodkas was called for.  We got up for a little boogey and danced the night away.  L wont mind me telling you that she has been in a social coma for 10 years or so and shes suddenly woken up.  The girl was 1st on the dancefloor and the last one off.  Actually L didnt stop dancing in her stiletoes the whole bloody weekend! 

This was our first experience of not being able to smoke indoors.  But i have to say it worked really well here.  To start off with the bouncers are very nice (makes a change from London).  We were able to pop in and out as we pleased.  We got talking to alot of people while standing outside, and non while standing indoors (i think all the cool people were outside )  It was good to be inside a club and not get the stingy eyes etc.  The no smoking thang worked at this venue.  We got back to the hotel about 3.30 and me and L stayed up chatting til about 6, as you do, talking about the stuff we tend to miss during the day.  Being drunk and cosey just makes me want to talk...usually bollox, but i like to think i get insightful in these hours.

We finally fell asleep.  I was marred by nigtmares of ghost children roaming the hotel.  A boy about 2 on a tricycle riding out of our bathroom.  Weird shit happening in the corridors too  I think its because the floors kind of reminded me of the Shinning

My finger resembles a fat fucking sausage

Ow the pain   Fucking evil useless fucking bastards...

Of course i shall bore you to death with tales of the city when i get home and ill even throw in a few pictures to keep you somewhat entertained

Hope i havent missed too much in blogsville but ill catch up soon

hugs