by EnamelSlide
@ 26/03/08 - 23:08:55
Have you ever seen anything so damn cute?!! I'm not really a cat woman but awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 
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Archives for: March 2008
I Got That Fuzzy Feeling
Positive Strokes
by EnamelSlide
@ 25/03/08 - 10:41:51
I feel like i can see everything for what it is today. I've awoken with an epiphany and somehow the world looks different. There's no direct reason for this.
I wonder if this is the same feeling people have when meditating? It probably wont last long, but for now, i can see.
3 weeks of disturbed sleep, strange dreams and wrestling inner demons - contemplating the insignificance of my actions, and the futility of everything. And today...things seem clear. I feel i can acheive things today, what though, i dont know!
Dr Sausage Fingers
by EnamelSlide
@ 10/03/08 - 19:29:36
My old dentist and i had a wonderful relationship, full of laughter and joyous merriment. At first i was untrusting and suspicious of the curly haired, young faced Iranian gorgeous dentist. The fact he was so damn hot didnt help to ease any fears i initially had. But over time he wooed me with numerous injections and displays of trust on both sides. I only had to raise my hand in a lady like manner and immediately he responded to my needs. He learnt over the years exactly where i needed to be injected in order to have my desires met. And it was a beautiful time...
A year ago i phoned to book an appointment for my regular checkup and was told that my Iranian God had left, but Dr Sausage Fingers had taken over and would be seeing me. I wasnt pleased but thought hey, maybe its time to move on. So with trepidation, i went and let him check out my equipment. Fumbling hands and giant fucking sausage fingers did raise alarm bells in my head at the time. Fast forward to today. I had an appointment for a chipped tooth (thank you Kelloggs Crunchy Nut) and a filling he thought i needed.
So we engage in a dance of 'the small talk'. Me knowing i dont like Dr Sausage Fingers and him knowing i'm a difficult moo. He sits me down and tells me open wide. I do as instructed. He tells me i should open my mouth further...the asshole. I cannot help my genetics, i cannot help the way my jaw is fixed to my skull. My mouth resembles a gaping cavern and is as open as its ever gonna get Mr.
He poked his sausge finger into my mouth and injected me twice. There was no tenderness, or softness -he just stuck it right in. Ok so it hurt, but that i could handle. I sat in the waiting room, 'waiting' (does what it says on the tin) for it to kick in. Hmmm...my mouth isnt feeling numb at all. I get called back in. I emplore Dr Sausage Fingers to refrain from abusing my mouth for the moment as i can feel everything. I take this opportunity to reminise in the ways of the Iranian and share tells of wonderous times to Dr Suasage Fingers. He decided to give me a few more injections. This time the whole outter right side of my cheek is numb but the inside is feeling pretty normal. I aint a happy bunny 
So starts the drum of the dentists drill and in he goes. A few seconds in all is well...few more seconds and he really feckin hurt me. He tells me i shouldnt be feeling any pain in a patronising tone. He then gives me a 5minute lecture on how its all connected on one nerve so i shouldnt be feeling pain and that its all in my head. Err excuse me? That pain was fucking real asshole 
I pull myself together and give myself a talking to about behaving like a grown up and not a 5 year old kid. 'Proceed' i declared. And off he dived into my mouth once more.
Ok that really bloody fucking hurt now. The child within is unleashed and i began to cry (god im so embarrassed). I popped to the loo to gain some composure, deep breaths and fresh air.
I walked back into the room looking utterly sheepish whilst hanging my head in shame at my earlier 'episode' He tried once more, i screamed in agony, he tried again and pushed him away. He then told me i needed to be sedated. I have never been sedated for dentistry work (or anything else for that matter) but then again, its never bloody hurt so much. I was fighting back the tears once more, taking all i had in me not to cry again, so i agreed to being be drugged up outta my skull and smiled while i tried to get out of there as fast as possible. Me and Dr Sausage Fingers cannot have a relationship of any type so now my search widens for 'The One' dentist who i can trust once more and restore my faith in all dentistkind.
Holy Shit
by EnamelSlide
@ 10/03/08 - 08:53:11
It's really windy out there, and really, really wet 
I've just stuck a bucket under my kitchen roof, its a leaking. Will see what happens when i get back from work!
This Morning
by EnamelSlide
@ 09/03/08 - 13:53:43
So i went out partying last night and had a great night! We went to RD's house - she shares with 5 other girls who were all really nice! 3 of them are teachers, one is a hairdresser and the other a make up artist. We got straight down to business and starting boozing it up. With the radio blaring 70's and 80's tunes, we all got into character bopping around. Can i just say I have never seen so many false eyelashes in my life!! Poor makeup artist girlie was nominated as the person most qualified to apply drag queen style falsies - and applying them proved a big source of hilarity 
We jumped into our cab when he arrived. Ever the brownie and always prepared, SL had managed to pour vodka and coke into a 1.5l bottle of coke which we consumed in the back of the cab on the way to the club. Classy hey?
We had to stop off along the way, i think somewhere near Embankment, as me and HF were dying for a piss. She noticed one of those loos that you pay to get into (trust me i wernt happy about using it as im funny enough about toilets as is) just on the side of a main road. I have no idea (nor did she apparently) on how to use one of these babies. 20p to pee hmmm. I hadnt brought my handbag but HF did, but had no change 
So while were both standing there with our legs crossed and bouncing up and dpwn with desperation, she sunk a £1 into it. There we stood waiting for the big door to swing back so that we could relieve our bladder. Nothing happened, nada. Money didnt pop back out, we were hitting it, trying to slide the door open but we got nothing. HF stuck another £1 in there and still nothing, at this point i was on the verge of peeing my pants, so i said fuck this, and im sorry to say that i had to pee in some office builidings side door (i think this is where the smokers go so im really sorry fellow smokers!). It was the only darkish corner i could find. HF had decided to join me but she was round the corner and we were laughing away at our 'prediciment'. A few seconds into peeing, the biggest fucking floodlight ive ever seen kicked in and suddenly myself and HF were in lit up in bright lights while a torrent of traffic drove by. Oh well, needs must
When we arrived there had been some sort of confusion with the cabs. We had booked them to come and pick us up later (with the cab company) but our cab drivers had no idea what the hell we were talking about. So we gave up and headed into the club. Being on the guest list, we thought entry would be fast but nooooooooooooooo. Even the guest list had a bloody queue. Oh and it gets worse, it really starting pissing it down with rain...my hair ended up looking like rat tails, i was soaking through, my gorgeous straw wedges were soaking wet too. Spent ages getting ready to have it all rained away grrr 
Anyhoo, had a good time inside. The majority of people were dressed up and there was such a lovely friendly vibe inside. People were there just to have fun, was great. £5.50 for a JD and coke though...im glad i wasnt going to need too many more at that fuckin price. Aaaaannnd i ahd to pay £1 for a wristband that allowed me to go outside to smoke and to regain entry. Taking the piss or what?!!
Unbeknown to us, RD had spent the last hour outside puking her guts up outside the turkish kebab shop. Took us ages to find her adn when i did i managed to capture this moment on my camera (yes its going straight onto facebook muwahahhaha).
While RD was being ill the rest of us headed into Mr Kebab mans shop. He must be one hell of a rich man, im telling you there must have been at least 30 people at a time inside the tiniest of shops. Mr Kebab man was loving it all, laughing away with all the drunk people dressed in silly wigs and clothes.
After numerous phonecalls to the cab firm and also the cab man, our cab turned up. Bless him he must have the paitience of a saint. We musta phoned him about 10 times asking if he was coming, and none of understanding what the fuck he was saying. I had zero money so couldnt even tip him well.
Dropped everyone off and ended up in the cab alone. Mr cab man was very much like a sweet uncle. He dropped me home and said he wouldnt leave until he saw id gotten into my front door. So i got in and waved like a demented woman and off he went home.
Today i was worried i was going to wake up with a killer hangover, but i must be blessed because at the moment im just feeling invigorated and hungry. So this morning ive been bouncing around the place just feeling, well good. And i now i am off to prepare a culunary sausage and egg sarnie mmmmmmmmmmm
Waiting for the postman
by EnamelSlide
@ 08/03/08 - 13:23:17
Oh hurry up Miss Postie!!
I'm off here tonite. We're all dressing up in 70's and 80's gear which i'm hoping should be a right giggle! I ordered myself the only 70's outfit i could find that would fit and i remotely liked and was expecting it in the post yesterday, but it didnt arrive. So now im waiting for my post lady to come knocking on my door. I'm gonna have raging hump if it doesnt come today 
If she doesnt come im going to have to pop into town and see what i buy. I think if i have to buy stuff i'll just stick to an 80's theme, easier to accessorise me thinx.
edit: its arrived, it looks very very bad
Arrghh
by EnamelSlide
@ 06/03/08 - 16:05:42
So I have made a great recovery from my bird flu and am now back in the office. My desk looks a complete mess, theres shit everywhere. It seems people have stored any requests they may have had for my return…isn’t it great to feel wanted. The other 2 girls in the office were telling me how quiet it had been while I was off and there had been no dramas (good) however as soon as I got in this morning people were asking me for stuff. Fucking stuff!!! So I haven’t stopped all morning, so far have fixed a projector, sat in assembly for World Book Day (teachers and kids looked wicked), spoke to a number of parents about secondary transfers for September, replied to a few emails I’d had, sent a few to my new lazy and uninspiring Headteacher, ordered some new lights and sound system for our hall, in the process of ordering another 50 laptops for the kids/teachers, and now I’ve got to the point where I want to laminate my head and disappear.
Why can no other fucker deal with this shit when im off??!?!!
